It’s a..... Disappointment! Being disappointed about the sex of your new baby and learning it’s ok!
We all have a vision of what we think we want our future children to be. All girls or all boys. Maybe just one girl and one boy. Once you find out you're pregnant, you play around with the idea of both boy and girl, and at some point, your heart sets on what you think you would like. For me, with both pregnancies, I just knew I would have a little girl. Oh, the tons of pink I would buy…. not really, but you get the point!
Finding out my babies were boys felt devastating both times around. With my first, I felt so guilty for being upset not being able to have the little girl I dreamed of having. The second time I was convinced due to the difference in pregnancies that I was having a girl and was equally disappointed to find out I was expecting another little boy. In some way, I felt having a girl would be more natural and more ideal since I was also a girl and could relate more. Of course, dressing her up in all the cute clothes I see in passing at Target would have also been a plus. Everyone around me gave me the “just be happy it will be a healthy baby” speech, and I wasn’t trying to hear that. How do you dress them, how am I going to even potty train him were some of the questions I asked myself. After a day I did get over the initial disappointment and was thrilled my baby was healthy.
I think the first step is realizing it’s more than okay to be disappointed initially. I mean you did have your dreams crushed for a second. For some, it may even feel like a loss. A loss of that mother-daughter/son relationship you always knew you would have. I think it’s important for women to understand they are not alone in their feelings good or bad because feelings are merely just feelings. However, what you do with those feelings is what counts. Take a few moments to yourself to handle the news and begin to think about all the positive things, like not having to comb hair or being able to buy tons of cute outfits. If you are feeling down, it’s important to share those feelings with someone you trust like your significant other or a good friend who can encourage you.
In the end, I’m here to tell you; you will move on and be incredibly excited and entirely in love with your new bundle of joy no matter if it’s a boy or girl! It’s something about those ten little fingers and toes that make all your negative feeling dissolve and your heart melt.