Can You Watch My Child?
While growing up, we were told that it takes a village to raise a child, indeed that is true. However, the village does not OWE you child care whenever or where ever.
Some people believe that because you have a support system, they are supposed to be there at your every beck and call. THAT IS NOT TRUE! There have been countless times that I've seen Facebook rants about family members not agreeing to babysit. I've heard from friends and family about there lack thereof in support from friends or family when it comes to their child(ren). (in reality, they do a lot) I've even had to school my friends and family with the same truth I'm about to give you all.
YOUR FAMILY DON'T OWE YOU SHIT!
Yes, I said it, they don't! As a parent, you have to be okay with the fact that your village sometimes does not want to watch your child. Your friends or family should not have to give you a reason why they can't. They could have nothing planned for their day other than lounging around and watching television it is still not their duty to WATCH YOUR CHILD. Nor should they get punished for it because of the one or two times they told you no.
Granted if it was for something important such as a job interview or an opportunity to better your life situation I completely understand your frustration. However, even then it's not their responsibility to watch your child. Sorry to say.
Your village isn't obligated
To pick your child up from school/daycare.
Take them to practice
Watch them every night or on the weekends
Spend their money on them
Make it to every event you have for your child, etc.
I know what you're thinking
"If they're not obligated to do those things then how is it a village? A village is supposed to help with those exact things."
Yes, a village is supposed to do those things but only when they are willing. Hopefully, you have a GREAT village behind you that allows you to get a break from everyday parenting or help you out when you are in need, especially when it comes to your child(ren). As humans we expect people to do for us and become so heartbroken and upset when they tell us "no" even when that person has extended that offering hand in the past.
Now if someone extends an offering hand. But EVERY TIME you ask for help, it's a no, and I mean EVERY TIME. That's understandable. But we cannot become upset at our village at the few times they tell us "no" or "I cant" even if they don't have a "valid" reason behind why they can not.
When someone offers help, TAKE IT! If you ask for help and a villager accepts the task, THANK THEM! Still, no one is obligated to say "yes" because you asked. Parents, we can not assume that our village will ALWAYS be there when we need them. They have their own lives and duties to complete in their day. Have you ever once thought about how you're inconveniencing what they had planned for their day with your request? Exactly.
AS PARENTS WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE COMMITMENT IT TAKES TO HAVE A CHILD AND STILL GET THINGS DONE.
If you find yourself feeling like you have no support, take a step back and look at the things people have done for you and your child(ren) versus what some have not. There will be times in your life where you (and your partner) may not have the babysitter you need to be able to do the thing you want, and that's okay. That's the sacrifice you made when you decided to become a parent. They say once you become a parent your freedom to do whatever, whenever goes out the door and they, whoever they are, ain't lying. Being a parent comes with a lot of obstacles and the help of our village is one of them.
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